In this guest post, Kieran Smith explores social, emotional, and mental health (SEMH) needs in pupils, highlighting key behaviours to look out for and actionable steps schools can take.

By the time a child throws a chair, slams a door, or walks out of a lesson, the moment for early intervention has already passed.

That’s not a criticism of school staff, it’s a reality. Crisis behaviour is visible, urgent, and demands an immediate response. But the signals that come before it? They’re quiet, easy to miss, and far more important.

In my work as an Education Officer and former specialist SEMH teacher, the children I’ve found hardest to support are rarely the loudest ones. They’re the child who’s gradually become a little quieter. The one who keeps asking to go to the toilet. The one who used to put their hand up and now stares blankly at the page.

These children are communicating. We just haven’t always learned to listen to the language they’re using.

What Are We Actually Looking For?

Social, emotional, and mental health (SEMH) needs don’t arrive fully formed. They build, often over weeks or months, before they become visible in ways that schools feel equipped to respond to.

The challenge is that early SEMH signals often look like something else entirely:

Why We Miss Them

There are three main reasons early SEMH signals go unnoticed in schools.

1. We’re stretched.

In a class of thirty, it is genuinely difficult to track individual changes in presentation. The children who quietly withdraw are easy to lose in the noise of those who are more demanding.

2. We misread the behaviour.

Avoidance can look like laziness. Irritability can look like attitude. Withdrawal can look like compliance. Without a trauma-informed lens, these behaviours often attract consequences rather than curiosity.

3. We don’t have a system for it.

Most schools have clear processes for responding to crisis. Fewer have equally clear systems for noticing, for flagging, recording, and sharing early indicators before they become something bigger.

Research consistently shows that early intervention in SEMH is significantly more effective than later-stage responses.

The Education Endowment Foundation notes that social and emotional learning interventions have a strong evidence base, particularly when embedded in whole-school practice rather than delivered as a one-off response to crisis.

What Schools Can Do: A Practical Framework

Early identification doesn’t require a new programme or significant additional resource. It requires attention, communication, and a shared professional language across your staff team.

Build a Culture of Noticing

The most powerful tool in early SEMH identification is also the simplest: knowing your pupils.

Staff who have invested time in building genuine relationships with children are far more likely to notice when something shifts.

A two-minute conversation at the classroom door, remembering what a child mentioned last week, following up on how a difficult weekend went, these moments build the relational trust that makes early signals visible.

This isn’t soft. It’s strategic. When children trust the adults around them, they’re more likely to give us clues before things escalate.

Create a Simple Flagging System

Consider implementing a brief, low-burden way for staff to flag early concerns, something as simple as a shared note next to the class register, a quick message through your internal system, or a two-minute check-in during briefing.

Useful information to capture might include:

• Changes in engagement, mood, or presentation over the past 1–2 weeks
• Specific triggers you’ve noticed (transitions, certain lessons, peer dynamics)
• What seems to help, however small

The goal is to turn individual observations into shared intelligence. One teacher noticing something once might be unremarkable. Three staff members noticing the same thing in the same week is a pattern worth acting on.

Use Relational Check-Ins

When you suspect a child is struggling, the temptation is to ask directly, “Are you okay?” Most children, particularly those with SEMH needs, will say yes and look away.

Instead, create low-pressure opportunities for conversation. Side-by-side activities work particularly well because they remove the intensity of direct eye contact:

• Asking a child to help you carry something or complete a simple task
• Brief, interest-led conversations about something they care about
• A quiet check-in at the end of the day:
• “You seemed a bit off today. Is there anything I can do to help?”

The question isn’t an interrogation. It’s an open door. And sometimes, that’s all a child needs to know that someone has noticed and that they’re safe.

Act Early, Without Over-Pathologising

Not every child displaying early SEMH signals needs a formal referral. Some need a conversation, a slight adjustment to how they’re supported in class, or simply a trusted adult who has noticed them.

The graduated approach under the SEND Code of Practice, assess, plan, do, review, applies here. Start with what you can do at classroom level. Document what you notice. Involve your SENCO or pastoral lead early if patterns persist or concerns deepen.

The cost of acting early is low. The cost of waiting until crisis point, for the child, for the class, for the staff involved, is not.

A Final Thought

The children who are quietly struggling in our schools are often the easiest to miss and the hardest to reach once we do miss them. But they are not invisible, not if we’re looking.

Every school already has staff with the relational skill, the professional instinct, and the genuine care to spot these children early.

What they sometimes lack is a shared system, a common language, and the confidence that acting on a quiet concern is worthwhile, even when that concern hasn’t yet become a crisis.

Because by the time the chair gets thrown, we’re not at the beginning of the story. We’re at the end of a chapter that started weeks ago, in the quiet, in the withdrawal, in the small signals we almost missed.

Start reading the story earlier. The children will thank you for it.

If you found this blog useful, you may also be interested in reading the following blogs: 

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Brand-New SEND Courses and Resources Launched:

How Services For Education Can Support You

Whether you are an experienced SENCO or brand new to the role, we’ve recently launched a range of online courses and resources to support you, including our new SEND Specialisms Range – providing opportunities for flexible, self-paced learning and whole-school upskilling. We have also launched a variety of free SEND resources and CPD courses covering important topics like safeguarding, restrictive interventions and behaviour management.

Alternatively, if you would like to discuss how we can support your team, please get in touch – our mission is to help you feel confident, equipped, and valued in your role.